Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
