i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Boobs are out for the taking
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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