I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
