i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
