Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
