I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
