You're my little dorito
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
