i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
