The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
