I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
time to smoke my breakfast
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
