someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
