Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
