I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
