Where is the hickey?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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