I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
