We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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