i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
