Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize