I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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