How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
