I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
