I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
