i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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