Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
