Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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