so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
