I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She's the barista slut.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
