Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
