I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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