K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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