i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
