i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
