What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
