Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
