I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize