some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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