the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
