i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize