dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
