No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
