Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
