he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
