I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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