so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize