After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
