exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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