so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if only i could text you this smell
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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