Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
