Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
