u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
