I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
