I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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