I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize