That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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