What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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