I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
