Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize