i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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