fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
